Claire's Legacy

Always loved, forever bright

Shining on in Heaven's Light.

We only had a brief glimpse of who Claire was during her lifetime. But she changed our lives forever. She gave us the chance to have, and not just dream of having, a dear sweet daughter.  She made us truly grateful in understanding how each day and each moment we share with the ones we love is precious.   And how each of our children is such a priceless gift.  She was a treasure, and she turned our hearts toward heaven just as Jesus says in the book of Matthew Chapter 6 "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  We won't ever fully know all the ways she touched all the people who knew her and the purpose of her brief life until we see her again.  But I believe we will be surprised and amazed at how far-reaching her light spread.  Claire embodied the truth that this life on Earth is just a brief prelude to eternal life in heaven. And every day we live brings us closer to that life and to seeing her again.

Decking the halls

The boys spread a little Christmas cheer.

We got a chance to decorate Claire and Henry's place for the first time for Christmas this year.  We brought a tiny Christmas tree with heart and butterfly ornaments, tinsel stars and angels. It was awfully cold and windy, but Virgil and Emmett stuck it out as Mommy's little helpers. They even did a little caroling with their favorite Yuletide classic - Jingle Bells.  Wish we could have done more to celebrate the holidays together with our babies as a family.  But at least they know we remember and miss them.

Claire's heaven-birthday

We miss you baby girl.  

Wish you were here with us to celebrate.

November 12th, 2014 was the one-year anniversary of Claire's death.  It also marked the end of her first year in heaven.  We miss her every day.  It's been very hard here living without her.  Simple things like going to bed and getting up in the morning were painful at first.  But little by little, clear and bright moments are beginning to outweigh the painful ones.  I think she must be sending some of them our way.  At times, she still must be visiting us with her sweet spirit and joyful energy in unseen ways. It's important to remember that the pain and tragedy of her death is only on our side.  On her side is heaven, and there is nothing except joy and celebration.  So we try to celebrate too.

A space of grace

Spending some time at Claire and Henry's place.

At first, we didn't know whether we wanted a grave site for Claire or not.  It just doesn't seem right for a baby.  But then we found the TEARS Foundation Memorial at Bonney-Watson Memorial Park in Seatac. It's in front of a special section dedicated to infants and children under a giant evergreen tree.  It has such a sweet feeling, we knew we wanted a spot there for Claire and her brother Henry to share. Many of the markers have decorations and toys around them.  It's like a scavenger hunt for the boys each time we go visit.  Some of the markers even have photographs of the children on them, including Claire's two neighboring markers, so of course, she had to have her photo there, too.  We finally have a special place where we can go to celebrate the lives of our two babies in heaven.  A place where they will always be remembered.

Claire's Celebration

Claire's light will always be with us.

Some people, like flowers, brighten the world with their lives.  Claire was one of those people. All of our very best friends and family joined us in celebration of her and the joy she brought to everyone she met. The church was bright with flowers, candle light and paper origami butterflies in her memory.  There was beautiful music. The boys especially liked the cookies.  But I imagine the saints and angels were having a much grander celebration in heaven that made our little gathering pale in comparison.  I'm glad, for Claire should have the very best.

Saying Good-bye

Saying 'hi' and 'good-bye' to her brothers one last time.

On November 12, 2013 one day before her 6-month birthday, we had to say good-bye to baby Claire.  It was a heart-breaking day for us.  But it was also the day that Claire finally became well forever.  She was finally all done with the breathing machine, IV's, feeding tube, dialysis machine, and monitors.  She was going to be free, and before she left she let us know she was aware we were with her.  Even though she was still under the effects of muscle relaxants, her little hand squeezed our fingers and she moved her head ever so slightly to say her last farewells.  The boys were finally allowed to jump up on her hospital bed and really be close to her, something they had been wanting to do for weeks.  And we got to kiss her and hug her as much as we wanted.  The short time we had with Claire will never be long enough, but it was her lifetime.  And we are so thankful that she spent it with us.

Our little angel

Claire has her wings.

Our darling little girl had a photo-shoot in the hospital while she was in the ICU.  It was a visit by the volunteer photographer from "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep", and she was as ready as ever to be lovely and engaging in front of the camera.  Mommy had packed Claire's pair of angel wings and flower headband, just in case, and that's all she needed to be a little star.  A few days later she had to be hooked up to a dialysis machine because her kidneys were failing, so this was really the only time she had left to play dress up. It was a sweet little playtime that Mommy will always remember and cherish. 

Daddy's little girl

Who could resist those bright eyes?

Claire was at home for two weeks in between hospital stays.  She had oxygen, a feeding tube and a blood oxygen monitor the entire time, so she was really tied down with lots of tubes and wires.  But she still managed to be her ridiculously cute little self despite it all.  Daddy took this picture of her right before one of her coughing attacks that eventually required her to be hospitalized.   The day after this picture was taken, Mommy had to take her to the Emergency Room to be admitted back to Mary Bridge Hospital.  But on this day, she was all about being with her Daddy.  And she had eyes only for him.

It's Her Big Day

Claire and cousin Max share the honors.

Claire was baptized on Sunday October 7th along with her cousin Max.  It was a splendid sunny autumn day just perfect for a christening celebration.  She was the princess for a day, dressed in the same white gown and cap worn by all of her cousins and aunties in the Hansen family for their baptisms for two generations.  She loved being all dressed up and even though she was not feeling very well, she put on her best appearance for the day.  She and Max were baptized with water from the Jordan River where Jesus was baptized.  Then she was formally presented to everyone in her church family.  She was very poised and lovely for the entire affair.  Afterward, she attended a lavish reception in her honor. What a day! And what a girl!

Little Charmer

That's my favorite little girl!

During the time Claire spent at Mary Bridge Children's Hospital, she made friends with all the nurses and doctors that came to visit her.  Her cheerfulness and cute little looks really brightened their days, and often they would come in to visit her even when they weren't assigned to her floor, just to say hello.  I know she appreciated all of the special care and attention, and she showed it.  She wasn't named Claire "light and bright " for nothing.  And everyone who came into her pink little hospital room knew it.